my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
