what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
