OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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