I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize