i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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