just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
