today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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