i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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