Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
