I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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