last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
