dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
