I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize