Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
