Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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