well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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