Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
