the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
They took my balls.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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