Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
