Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
