shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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