I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
