Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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