She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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