that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
