he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
