I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
