whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
