I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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