YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
