I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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