My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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