Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think I just sharted jello shots
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