I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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