ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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