If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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