There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
