is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
