you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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