if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
