Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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