If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
