she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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