Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
