It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
