Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize