He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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