I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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