I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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