ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
