Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
