I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
