oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
