how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I came so hard my ears popped.
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