So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
