just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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