Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
