Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
