I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
