i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
