ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
